Sorry for Homewrecking?

Cleveland Sunrises Lead to Self Reflection?

I have a reputation among my friends. If I am out socializing and there is a guy (typically All-American, quick witted and self deprecating) I happen to be intrigued by - he will, without question, have a girlfriend. I will find out eventually (when I find out is typically based on the character of the guy) and curse the sky as I exclaim, "all the good ones are taken!".

I have spent a lot of time attempting to uncover the root cause of why I am attracted to attached men and why (more often than is normal) attached guys are drawn to me. Theories I kicked around in my analytical brain:

- I have a low self esteem/assessment of my self worth and I put out a vibe into the world that being second fiddle is all that I deserve.

- I'm a competitive Type-A personality who loves a challenge.

- I love being on my own and so, sub-consciously, I'm only allowing myself to be pulled to guys who won't result in someone upsetting the order in my life.

- Did I mention I'm competitive?

The Men of My Life (BJ Looks THRILLED... Scott Looks HUNGRY)

The more I thought about these options, the more none of them seemed to make sense. Yes, I am competitive; however, I'm a huge proponent of the "true love" thing and enjoy when couples find each other. Plus, when I find out guys who flirt back have girlfriends I get pissed and feel like I broke the "girl code". 

The whole self worth issue? I just don't see it. Sure, I am a nurturer by nature, which sometimes can result in getting taken advantage of. But that doesn't mean I think I deserve being used. The first three men in my life were/are fantastic. My Dad and brothers most likely instilled in me a sense that I am more awesome than I actually am. They think I'm fun and smart and they are the bestest, so based upon the theories of thermal dynamics, physics and GAAP based accounting, I am all of those things! (I took some liberties in assuming my brothers currently think I'm fun and smart. For the sake of this blog post, it is probably best not to check with them regarding their true thoughts).

Awesome Guys @ Polka Dance With Matching
Fedoras.  See?  Not Trying to Impress is
AWESOME!

So then what could it be? What is causing me to be attracted to unavailable dudes? I had an epiphany the other day- I'm not drawn to guys because they have girlfriends... I'm drawn to how guys carry themselves when they have girlfriends. At my age, I have found the dating game to be obnoxious. Men at bars try to find a balance of Mr. Moneybags, Joe Cool, Too Cool For School, and Sir Pompous. I like guys who aren't afraid to take sass as much as they dish out. I would rather have fun dancing like an idiot and laughing too loud than appearing "cool". And I don't care if you think you dress well... Everyone has their own style so can I just be the judge of that myself instead of you telling me?

Guys with girlfriends typically aren't out to impress- they are out to have fun. No large production is run to get attention or promulgate a false image. Therefore, you see the real person, they are relaxed, and a girl's "douche radar" stays quiet all evening. 

I'm better about spotting attached dudes since I know my track record. However, to fix the problem, can all the single guys just turn off the smooth talking sleaze switch to hang out and have fun? I guarantee you my friends and I will be drawn to you and will fall off our chairs when we learn you're single.

Did you ever notice any patterns in your dating life?

My First Foray Into "Clean Cosmetics"

At least I've made it to a Tribe game!

I can't believe July is officially half over.  Where is the summer going?  I haven't gone to Cedar Point yet!  The good thing?  PEACHES ARE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!  I am pretty sure I am the only 26 year old (not for much longer) young professional who drives to Vermillion, Ohio by herself at least once an August to stock up on peaches.  I have grand plans of pies, crumbles, ice cream and muffins that are typically usurped by the fact that all the peaches are gone by day four.  The only evidence of their existence are the pits in my trashcan and the juices still sticky on my hand (and most likely running down my wrist).  Nom noms.

Starting a month ago, I have been mentioning my desire to veer my entire beauty and self-care routine to "clean" products.  It can be overwhelming both on your psyche and your wallet to switch everything over at once.  Thus, I've been doing it piece by piece.  My first batch was my "face" makeup (i.e. foundation/concealer, blush, powder, highlighter).  Based on the countless blogs and reviews praising RMS Beauty's line of... well... all of the above, I ordered some samples from Spirit Beauty Lounge to determine my "Un" Cover Up shade would be 11 and my Lip2Cheek shade would be Modest.  I rounded out the purchases with the much praised Living Luminizer and "Un" Powder.

For the specific ingredient discussion, the story behind how this exceptionally "clean" brand was born from Rose Marie Swift's amazing head, and the scariness behind the additives that are lurking in your current products and amazingly absent from this line please visit RMS Beauty's website.

The words that come to mind when summarizing these products are dewy (if you want them to be), light, and nurturing.  The coconut oil base of the foundation, blush and highlighter help soothe my skin.  It doesn't feel as if makeup is sitting ON your skin but, rather, the products are being absorbed by your skin.  It sounds very "mumbo jumbo-ish"; however, I can feel my skin being able to breath with these products.  I haven't quite mastered the art of cream blush application; however, I am sure I will only get better with time.  Some days I look healthy and pretty... other days I am sporting the flush of a five mile run in the dead of summer.  Whoops.  The good thing is the highlighter provides some margin for error since it can correct some of the color when I get the blush too close to my nose or eyes.

My one complaint is that since the foundation has such a luminous and light texture, it isn't the greatest at masking my dark under-eye circles (yet is fantastic at hiding little zit marks?  Riddle me that!).  However, the magnitude of my circles (due to my extremely porcelain skin essentially being see-through) is greater than most.  I have ordered samples of a few heavier products from Spirit Beauty Lounge to see if I can add a product exclusively for concealing to the mix.  All in all, I am VERY thrilled with my first attempt into the world of clean beauty.  It does a body good!

In other news, expect more quirkiness (!) from me as my new obsession starts permeating this blog - I am halfway through reading Ayurveda For Dummies and I find it all so fascinating.  My dosha is Pitta, a fiery perfectionist that has a tendency to stress out, speed through life and become envious easily.  Sounds about right.

Who is ready for the best day of the entire year tomorrow?

Oh Hey, Best Month Ever!

Full time siblings... part time models

It's my birthday month.  I was never one of those girls that decided, at a random age past 21, to suddenly hate her birthday.  I'm going to like my birthday when I turn 30, 50, 70 and 99.  I will still blast the Captain Zoom birthday song and everyone will still be required to dote upon me.  I am finally starting to get back to my happy-go-lucky self.  My brother's wedding was last month and, with it, came a much anticipated and much needed vacation to Northern California.  It was beautiful, magical and all around perfect. The best part of all?  Toresil is now officially my Toresil.  However, with extremely happy events comes the extremely blue and sad let down.  Now what am I supposed to look forward to, get ready for, buy pretty dresses for and plan ridiculous dance moves for?  Sigh, being so drunk on happy sure can bring on a hangover of melancholy.

What has gotten me through the past couple weeks of meh is continuing my hunt of "non-dirty" beauty and skin products.  I already have some favorites.  I also have some on a "Come to Katy" list that I plan to treat myself to once I pay off my rockin' rehearsal dinner dress I bought for last month from Nordies.  For the next few posts, I will share one thing I love and one thing on my wish list.

Can I just say I am a sucker for good packaging?

Thing I Love

May Lindstrom The Clean Dirt cleansing clay & The Problem Solver mask - Can I just say that May Lindstrom is fantastic?  You know that type of person that makes you feel like the only and most important person in the room when they are talking to you?  May accomplishes this via her online presence with her customers.  Her Youth Dew serum, while amazing, seems to just not agree with my skin.  I have read countless reviews from people that dub it a miracle product, but for some reason my weird post Accutane skin doesn't like it.  I e-mailed May my problem and some questions and she responded to me within 24 hours with suggestions on how to better introduce her line to my skin.  I absolutely love her cleanser, which I use about three times a week, and her mask, which I use weekly.  There is something so comforting in her concoctions of basic, pure, and effective ingredients that are made by hand.  Each time I use them, I feel like I have been invited into May's very special circle of friends with whom she chose to share her talent.

Come to Katy

Jiva-Apoha Body Oil - I read about these body oils on Seed to Serum, a clean skincare blog that is a new obsession of mine.  I have been looking for a clean alternative to the various dirty body lotions I have been trying to use up.  After reading the various descriptions of the oils, scents, and the feelings they intend to accentuate, it is readily apparent that most seem to be right in my wheelhouse.  Not only do the Jiva-Apoha oils moisturize with high quality oils from the best ingredients, but the creator is trained in Ayurveda and holistic healing methods. Therefore, each oil has different therapeutic benefits it can bring to its user.  The most exciting option?  Getting a personalized oil speciality made based upon how one responds to a questionnaire.

If summer were a weekend, we are now well into Saturday afternoon... what are you doing to make the most of it?  My to-do list consists of going to a Lake Erie beach, catching a show at Playhouse Square (Book of Mormon, here I come), going to a weekend Tribe game and getting Stoddard's custard.

Brink of Summer

Reassessment, realignment and reinvention is easy
during a gorgeous Sunday sunset over Lake Erie.

At the change of each season, I crave reassessment, realignment and reinvention. I feel the craving approaching as summer gets closer. I am seeking outdoor workouts, organization, light eating, Ayurveda approaches, and kindness. I am drawn to silk fabrics, dusk, my friends, and 1990's music. I would gladly spend my days walking anywhere.

While I can't hone in on and take advantage of all of these feelings (work tends to get in the way), I plan to allow myself to gravitate naturally towards what I appear to be asking for instead of what I think I need to be doing (realignment!). I've been trying to take time out of each day for quiet instead of automatically turning on the television the minute I get home (reassessment!). Lastly, I am trying to embrace some new eating habits and workout schedules (reinvention!).

I, of course, failed to realize my hat made me stick
out like a sore thumb!

I just returned from Toresil's bachelorette party. Fun was had by all. Now I have exactly one month to get myself in order for the big nuptials. Things that help? Bachelorette parties that involve 10k hikes through shin deep mud pits and climbing of retired ski hills.  We dressed up in outlandish outfits and all crossed the finish line together.  Toresil's cheeks must hurt today from smiling for 36 hours straight.

Some things at the forefront of my mind:

- The future Rose's baby gift. Working on it makes me smile as I think about her. She is going to be so rockin', I can't even fathom it.

Kerry - this is the only hint you get.  Stella tried to eat
the yarn tag from the gift supplies.  Shocker. 

- Dry skin brushing. It is changing the look of my legs, I swear. Google it.

- Sleepytime Vanilla Tea by Celestial Seasonings. All these pre-summer cravings make my mind race. This makes my brain shush.

- Kristen Wiig's SNL 1-800-FLOWERS commercial. My brother turned me onto this. If you want a glimpse into the relationship of Sharon and I, please view this clip online. You're welcome.

A classy Toresil party means no yucky appendage-shaped
decorations.  Just purple.  So much purple.

Does anyone else get season changing cravings?