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| Homecoming 2003 = Awesome |
I have come to the conclusion, when it comes to relationships, that there are two types of people in the world: high divers and try on-ers.
I am a classic high diver. I tend to get all my questions answered up front and it takes time to sort out my feelings before I pass go and collect $200. Each rung up the ladder is carefully considered because I want to look over that edge, past my toes to the water below, without a single doubt about diving off the platform. This means I've experienced very few relationships, but they are typically long lived ones. In short: if I say I'm interested... I'm very interested. I don't see the point in wasting my time with someone that my gut says is a maybe.
I would equate my best friend a try on-er. A try on-er participates in the more classic approach to dating, where a date doesn't mean you're a couple. Rather, a date is time spent getting to know someone with the goal of determining if a second date should occur. My best friend rarely said no to a date and, in the process, met a lot of amazing people (and a lot of duds). A date without a romantic spark wasn't a failure because it was still getting a chance to meet someone new. My best friend was "trying on" different types of people- if she didn't open herself up she could miss who would be perfect for her. She never had an answer to what her "type" was because her type was yet to be determined. It would be who ultimately swept her off her feet.
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We were Yin and Yang. I didn't see the point in dinner with someone who clearly wasn't what she wanted, and she didn't understand why I thought weeding out the frogs wasn't worth the hassle. I believed my method was the better way because my instinct was honed to know when someone could turn into Someone and worth investing time in. She felt her way brought adventure and taught her lessons about herself that she wouldn't have learned on her own. I now see there isn't a right way and a wrong way because the methods aren't choices. I'm just a high diver and she's a try on-er.
My best friend found what she had been in the fitting room of life looking for. Last month, he proposed in grand fashion while on vacation and I'm so thrilled it is slightly embarrassing (I plan to do my best to stop saying "we" as if I'm some how including in the pending union). It's going to be a busy but fun year.
Is my friend's happiness and success enough to tempt me to try on being a try on-er? Heck no. That water is really far down and I will continue to climb that ladder only when I feel a swan dive coming on. The high dive quickly becomes a plank if I'm not careful. Once a high diver, always a high diver.
Which are you?
