a self-focused summer

Something that I know for sure?  In the end, you really only have yourself.  Yes, you can fill your life with family, friends and mentors.  Allowing yourself to rely on others is important as it helps to share burdens and makes you accessible to loved ones in return.  The issue is that relationships change, people die and priorities shift.  The only relationship that is 100% guaranteed is the one you have with yourself, which is why it is so interesting that this is the relationship most neglect.

New workout program: Kayla Itsine's Bikini
Body Guide.  My face after day one… ouch.

I have recently felt disconnected from people in my life.  Most have become self-focused in order to concentrate on various life changes.  I felt forgotten until I realized that I could use this opportunity to also become self-focused.  In this spirit, I have been invoking changes to increase the happy and decrease the unhappy.  I am dialing back my spending because being broke makes me unhappy.  I started a new workout program because I missed feeling like a boss.  I am trying to say "yes" only to things that I want to say "yes" to.  I'm going outside as much as possible.  I am watching Full House reruns whenever they are on Nick@Nite.  I am conducting a thorough soul searching mission to identify what more can be done to get my joy back.

To fuel up for big life changes, I needed a big breakfast today.  However, my typical Sunday pancakes, high in refined carbohydrates, probably aren't the best foundation to support all my grand plans.  Therefore, I gave the new "it" breakfast a try.  The three ingredient pancake is all over the Internet and it was only a matter of time before I succumbed to the trend.

My favorite traditional pancake recipe is Barefoot Contessa's sour cream banana pancakes.  My 3-ingredient interpretation uses the same flavor profile.  Only problem?  My ingredient count is at five.  So here is Katy's Five Ingredient Three Ingredient Pancakes (say that five times fast… or three times fast… or five times three times fast?)

Ingredients: 

• 1 medium banana (3/4 mashed, 1/4 small dice)
• 2 large eggs, beaten
• Spoonful of plain greek yogurt
• Dash of vanilla extract
• Almond meal (about 1/8 - 1/4 cup, just enough for pancake batter consistency)

Directions:

1. Preheat greased pan over medium heat
2. Combine eggs, mashed banana, yogurt and vanilla in small bowl, mix well
3. Add almond meal slowly while mixing, stopping when desired consistency is reached
4. Fold in diced banana, reserving a few pieces for garnish
5. Pour batter into pan and cook pancakes until golden brown, then flip (time depends on your pancake size, mine took about 5 minutes)
6. Plate pancakes, cover with desired toppings such as local organic maple syrup and 'nannies

Do you have any self improvement goals on the docket?

High Divers and Try On-ers

Homecoming 2003 = Awesome

I have come to the conclusion, when it comes to relationships, that there are two types of people in the world: high divers and try on-ers.

I am a classic high diver. I tend to get all my questions answered up front and it takes time to sort out my feelings before I pass go and collect $200. Each rung up the ladder is carefully considered because I want to look over that edge, past my toes to the water below, without a single doubt about diving off the platform.  This means I've experienced very few relationships, but they are typically long lived ones. In short: if I say I'm interested... I'm very interested. I don't see the point in wasting my time with someone that my gut says is a maybe.

I would equate my best friend a try on-er.  A try on-er participates in the more classic approach to dating, where a date doesn't mean you're a couple.  Rather, a date is time spent getting to know someone with the goal of determining if a second date should occur. My best friend rarely said no to a date and, in the process, met a lot of amazing people (and a lot of duds). A date without a romantic spark wasn't a failure because it was still getting a chance to meet someone new.  My best friend was "trying on" different types of people- if she didn't open herself up she could miss who would be perfect for her. She never had an answer to what her "type" was because her type was yet to be determined.  It would be who ultimately swept her off her feet.

We were Yin and Yang. I didn't see the point in dinner with someone who clearly wasn't what she wanted, and she didn't understand why I thought weeding out the frogs wasn't worth the hassle.  I believed my method was the better way because my instinct was honed to know when someone could turn into Someone and worth investing time in.  She felt her way brought adventure and taught her lessons about herself that she wouldn't have learned on her own.  I now see there isn't a right way and a wrong way because the methods aren't choices.  I'm just a high diver and she's a try on-er.

My best friend found what she had been in the fitting room of life looking for.  Last month, he proposed in grand fashion while on vacation and I'm so thrilled it is slightly embarrassing (I plan to do my best to stop saying "we" as if I'm some how including in the pending union).  It's going to be a busy but fun year.

Is my friend's happiness and success enough to tempt me to try on being a try on-er? Heck no. That water is really far down and I will continue to climb that ladder only when I feel a swan dive coming on. The high dive quickly becomes a plank if I'm not careful.  Once a high diver, always a high diver.

Which are you?

Blush for the Holidays

I love Thanksgiving. What's not to love? It is the kickoff to the holidays and it centers around cooking and food. Whoopie! I usually get a severe case of post-Christmas blues on December 26th.  With Thanksgiving, much to my delight, the end only leads to more holiday happiness! Plus, I can finally listen to Christmas music since long ago I vowed to judge anyone that indulges before Turkey Day.

My mom and I are Turkey Day kitchen rock stars. We have the two day cook-a-thon down to a science. I thrive making our renowned recipes, doing dishes to the '80s Pandora station with my siblings and watching Elf while eating leftovers. I also used to hunt for a special outfit for the meal. While this year I am trying to "behave" financially and not buy anything new, it doesn't hurt to pretend! I am drawn to geometric patterns, nude shimmers, and a lot of blush tones for Thanksgiving 2013.

J.Crew pixie judhpur pant, J.Crew color block intarsia sweater, Tom Ford show me pink nail lacquer, Bobbi Brown lip gloss in buff, Bobbi Brown sequin shimmer brick eye palate, Kate Spade lynda rose gold pump, and Miss Dior eau de parfum

What are you planning on donning this Turkey Day?

Leader of the Band

Do you ever have a moment where you are listening to a song that you've heard a million times before, but never were truly listening, and suddenly you realize how much the lyrics mirror your life?  I was cleaning out my closet (a favorite pastime of a Type A organized control freak) and was floored by a Dan Fogelberg song that I've grown up with.  Maybe my brain made the connection between the lyrics and my life because time is closing in on two years without Jackson.  Whatever the reason, I think Mr. Fogelberg (who also lost his battle with prostate cancer too young) gave a melody and words to the unique connection I had with my Dad.  While we were/are such a close knit family, I was the only one who elected to follow a similar path to the one he chose thirty years before.

An excerpt from Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg:

The leader of the band is tired 

And his eyes are growing old 
But his blood runs through my instrument 
And his song is in my soul 

My life has been a poor attempt 

To imitate the man 

I'm just a living legacy 

To the leader of the band 

My brothers' lives were different 

For they heard another call 

One went to Chicago 

And the other to St. Paul 

And I'm in Colorado 

When I'm not in some hotel 

Living out this life I've chose 

And come to know so well 

I thank you for the music 

And your stories of the road 

I thank you for the freedom 

When it came my time to go 

I thank you for the kindness 

And the times when you got tough 

And, papa, I don't think I 

Said 'I love you' near enough 

I am a living legacy to the leader of the band

I am almost certain that Mr. Fogelberg did not intend for me to equate "my instrument" to my brain, "his song" to finance and accounting, and "to imitate the man" to... well... living, laughing and loving just like him to the best of my abilities.  While Scott did move to Chicago, BJ is definitely not in St. Paul.  And I was in a hotel room in Wooster, Ohio this past week, not Colorado.  I am sure Dan Fogelberg would appreciate; however, how much this song speaks to me now.  Thank you, Dan Fogelberg, for singing a song that makes becoming a CPA just like her Daddy sound WAY COOLER than it actually is.  Could you find Jack and sing Part of the Plan together on September 22nd?  I would greatly appreciate it.